It’s inconceivable to some family caregivers that their elderly loved-ones might refuse offers of help. There are a lot of different causes that can be behind this reaction and it might take more than a little bit of effort on your part to change your their mind.
Check Your Tone Of Voice
Often you don’t realize how you might sound to your elderly family member. You think that you’re using a conciliatory, happy tone of voice, but they might interpret it as talking down to her. Try speaking to her as you normally would, one adult to another. Your tone of voice alone can make a tremendous difference in how your aging family member interprets what you have to say to her.
Take Time To Observe What’s Going On
If your senior is still turning down any help from you, take some time to watch what’s happening with her. Is she truly having trouble with some activities? It’s entirely possible that you genuinely want to help and yet your senior doesn’t want help because she is able to perform that activity. Start making notes on what she’s actually having trouble doing on her own so that you can offer help at the appropriate time. Your being there at just the right moment can give her the opportunity to know that you are there for her in all instances and she may just ask for assistance, leading to further discussion.
Talk to Your Loved-One, But Be Sure to Listen
Take the time to talk openly and lovingly with your aging parent about what you’ve observed. It’s equally important, however, to listen to their responses. You might be able to work out a system that allows your loved-one to trust that you’ll offer help without reservation and that she simply has to let you know she’s ready for it.
Don’t Force Your Senior to Accept Help
Above all, you really can’t force your aging adult to accept help from you or from anyone else. Making senior care providers available is one thing, but if your elderly family member isn’t interested in their help, she may still refuse it.
Sometimes it’s about proving that she’s able to remain independent, so do what you can to let your senior keep this sense of independence even with the help you or an elder care provider are offering.
If you or an aging loved-one are considering elder care in Dix Hills, NY, please contact the caring staff at Family First Home Companions.
Serving all of Long Island. Call today: (631) 319-3961
Jennifer has specialized training in Alzheimer’s disease through the Long Island Alzheimer’s Association and the Long Island Alzheimer’s Foundation.She also volunteered her time with the Alzheimer's Disease Assistance Center of Long Island for 3 years by providing cognitive stimulation to an Alzheimer’s patient group.
Jennifer educates the community about elder care and speaks to caregiver support groups, senior centers, and at professional organizations.Topics include home safety, effective strategies for family caregiving, elder care planning, and awareness about elder abuse.
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